Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

92: Your Divine Assignment -Why Black Introvert Women Are Called to Step Into Authority Positions

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 92

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Black introverted women have been conditioned to believe that seeking power is wrong, that humility means staying small. Drawing from psychology research on "power aversion," Dr. Nicole explains why this mindset is actually limiting your ability to create meaningful change—and costing you personally. Plus how you can make a change.


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*Reserve your seat today for the free session July 26th: “From Invisible to Invincible: Strategies for Black Introvert Women to Get Executive Promotions in Five Months or Less.” 

Speaker 1:

Hi, lady Leader. So before we jump into today's topic, I have a special announcement. If you have not already signed up for my July 26th workshop, you need to pause this episode and go into the show notes, click the link and put your name on the list. If you are an introverted Black woman who already has claimed the fact that you are going to get your next leadership promotion in 2025, and we only got a few months left to the year then you definitely need to be in this workshop. We are going to be walking through, step by step, how you, as a Black introverted woman, can get your next leadership promotion in five months or less. The last time I did this workshop was at the beginning of the year and I had over a hundred beautiful Black introverted women attend and the feedback was fire. I've already heard from so many of you who actually came to that session and started executing some of the things that we said and have gotten their promotions. So if you did not attend that last session, or even if you attended that last session and you still want and need more support, then make sure you sign up and make sure you have a seat at this workshop. Okay, moving on, welcome to today's episode of Leading Her Introvert Way. If you're new here, then a very, very special welcome goes out to you, and I am Dr Nicole Bryan and I help Black introverted women get their next executive promotion, become elite leaders and build wealth through their careers without burning out and without becoming addicted to work. So today we are going to be talking about something that may make you a little bit uncomfortable at first, but I'm going to ask you to stick with me, because this conversation could be the game changer your career has been waiting for, has been waiting for. So today's episode is currently called how Titles Transform your Ability to Create Change. That title may look different, you may have seen a different title when you clicked on the link, but as of now, that's my working title how Titles Transform your Ability to Create Change. And before you roll your eyes thinking that this is about chasing status or being power hungry, let me just tell you this episode is actually about maximizing your impact and creating the change you actually want to see on your team, in your department, in your company and around the world.

Speaker 1:

I used to think that creating impact without having power or a title was really, really authentic. It was more noble. It was more pure. If I'm being honest, I thought working behind the scenes, being the person who quietly got things done, was the most honorable way to lead. But here's what I learned the hard way. That mindset was actually limiting my ability to create the very change that I cared so deeply about. So today I am sharing the mindset that literally multiplied my impact by a thousand percent, and I do not say that lightly. I'm also sharing a client success story about a brilliant, introvert woman who transformed her career and went from invisible to invincible. So if you have been creating impact from behind the scenes, but deep, deep down you know you want to scale your influence, then this is the episode for you.

Speaker 1:

Many of us, especially as Black women, have been conditioned to believe that seeking power or executive positions is somehow wrong. We've been taught that being humble means staying small and that real leaders don't need titles. But here's what psychology tells us, and I always go to the psychology for a couple of reasons. One shame I'm a psychologist by trade. That is what I do, right and honestly. Even before becoming a psychologist, I've always, always been a deep thinker. So for me, not knowing just what is going on is not enough. I need to understand the why behind things is. Once you understand the why, then you can make better decisions about your behaviors, what you do, what you don't do, how you think, how you don't think right. So that's one reason. The second reason is, as introverts, we are normally and naturally looking for deeper explanations. We like to peel back the layers of things and really understand how they work, how the human brain and human behavior works. Right is, as a leader yourself who is aspiring to move up in the organization or have more impact and more influence, you need to have a better understanding of how people think, because once you truly understand how other people think, your ability to get things done, your ability to shape the outcomes of situations, is going to be off the chart. So for all those reasons, you will always hear me think and talk about the psychology behind the different topics that we cover on this podcast.

Speaker 1:

So the reason why I'm talking about the psychology in this instance is that actually, a form of self-limiting belief is rooted in what researchers call power aversion. So Dr Julie DuBose researches and she has shown that women, particularly women of color, often develop negative associations with power, because we've seen power misused. So we tell ourselves that we don't want it and we don't want to become a person who's going to misuse power. But here's the thing, and this is where I really, really want you to listen. Power isn't inherently good or bad. It is neutral. It's what you do with that power that actually matters.

Speaker 1:

Now let me break this down, because this mindset is actually costing you personally. First, it's costing you financial wealth. Executive titles come with executive compensations. We're talking about salary jumps of 30 to 50% or more. We're talking about better bonuses, more stock options and significantly more negotiating power. When I moved into my first executive role, my compensation increased by 60%, not because I was suddenly working harder, not because my skill sets were even better, but because I was now in a position that was valued differently. The second way that your mindset is actually costing you is it's costing you time and energy wealth.

Speaker 1:

This might sound counterintuitive, but executive positions often give you more control over your schedule and workload than you might have right now as a manager or a director. Instead of being told what to do and how to do it, you get to decide. You can delegate, you can build teams that support you. You can work in ways that actually suit your introvert strengths instead of constantly fighting against systems you didn't design. And the third way that your current mentality is likely costing you personally is it is limiting your health wealth. When you're not constantly having to prove yourself or fight for basic respect and resources, your stress levels drop. You're not burning yourself out trying to create change with no authority or budget. You have the tools to do your job effectively, which means less frustration and more fulfillment. Think about it this way If you have a pot of soup and you want to feed 10 people, you can make a bigger impact than if you only had enough ingredients for two people. Right, but also cooking for 10 with the right kitchen and team is actually easier than struggling to stretch ingredients for two people with inadequate tools. Let me break this down in a way that really clicked for me when I first heard it.

Speaker 1:

Individual contribution is like being an amazing teacher in one classroom. You're changing lives, you are making a difference, and that work is incredibly valuable. Systemic influence, however, is like being the principal who can change policies that affect every classroom in the school and every student who attends that school. Or, better yet, it's like being on the school board that influences multiple schools the entire district. But here's what I want you to notice about the principal versus the teacher. The principal typically earns two to three times more than the teacher. The principal has more control over their schedule. Principal has more control over their schedule. The principal doesn't have someone micromanaging how they spend every hour of their day and the principal gets invited to the important meetings and has a voice in major decisions.

Speaker 1:

I remember when I first realized this I was working so hard to mentor individual women, helping them navigate workplace challenges one and it was rewarding work. But I was also exhausted, underpaid for the level of impact that I was creating, and constantly frustrated because I kept seeing the same problems over and over again, the same barriers, the same biases. I was working harder, not smarter, and I was definitely not being compensated fairly for the value I was bringing. That's when it hit me. I was treating symptoms instead of addressing the root cause. But, more importantly for my own career wealth I was choosing the harder path with lower rewards when a more effective path with better compensation was available to me.

Speaker 1:

When I moved into executive positioning, three things happened almost immediately. The first my income increased significantly. I'm talking about a raise that was bigger than some people's entire salaries. Number two my work became more efficient. Instead of convincing people one by one, I could implement policies and programs that solved the problem systematically. And then, number three, my stress levels actually decreased. I had the authority to make the decisions, instead of constantly having to ask permission or work around obstacles that I couldn't control. And here's what's most important for us as introverts, and here's what's most important for us as introverts Executive positioning does not mean you have to become extroverted or change where those strengths are valued at executive compensation levels. And if you join me on July 26, I'm going to be showing you exactly how to leverage these strengths to not only get that next level promotion, but to execute on it.

Speaker 1:

Now some of you might be thinking but, nicole, can I create change without chasing a title Like, do I need to be in a new position to be able to make that type of impact? And, of course, you can create change. You can create change exactly where you are. You are likely creating change right now, but let me ask you this who is sitting in those executive seats right now? Who's making the decisions about the budgets that you get for your initiative, about the policies that you have to adhere to, about the hiring practices and about strategic direction. If you're not in those seats, then other people may be making those decisions. Other people who don't share your values are limiting everything that you can do. They are dictating how much you can earn. They are dictating how much you can spend according to the budget of your project or your department. They are dictating even things like how much time you can take off, whereas when you get into the executive seat, you get to make those decisions not only for yourself, but for everyone else around you as well.

Speaker 1:

The revolution doesn't just need us in service, it doesn't just need you. It needs us in authority, because authority is where resources are allocated, authority is where culture is shaped, authority is where the future is designed, and authority is where change is made. This is not about ego or status. It's not necessarily even about the title. This is about the responsibility. You have a responsibility to use your gifts, your perspectives and your passion for change in the spaces where that change can happen at scale. And here's something specifically for you as an introvert your quiet strength, your strategic thinking, your ability to listen before speaking these are exactly the leadership qualities that your organization needs right now. The world is tired of loud, ego-driven leadership, particularly in this day and age, because that's what we're seeing everywhere. The world is now hungry for the thoughtful, intentional leader that comes naturally to you and to me.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so I shared my story. Let me share a quick story about a client of mine who made this shift from invisible impact to invincible influence, and I want you to pay attention to how her career wealth was transformed, not just her impact. So Keisha. Keisha was a senior manager at a tech company and she was creating amazing program for employee development, but she was frustrated because her programs were limited by budget constraints and organizational priorities which she had no control over. Every time that the company needed to find money to start something new, they would take it from her budget. Every time they needed a top performer to go and start a new project, they would dip into her team and reassign people. She was also working 60 plus hours trying to make things happen with no resources or very little resources, even resources that was continuing to be reduced.

Speaker 1:

After our work together, she pursued and she landed her first vice president role. Her salary increased by 85 percent 85 percent and she now works about anywhere between 48 to 50 hours a week, because she has a team of 12 supporting her vision and, instead of managing one small program, she oversees the entire talent development strategy for 10,000 employees. And she told me I'm making more money, working fewer hours and creating. I wish I had done this sooner. What Keisha just said is exactly the same story I hear from women that I work with. Everyone says I wish I would have done this sooner, and you, my friend, are someone that I don't want to have to wait to figure that out. Right, I want you to see now what is available to you. So I really want you to sit with these questions. So I really want you to sit with these questions.

Speaker 1:

What change do you want to create in your company, in the world? What level of career wealth do you want to build for yourself and your family, and are you in a position to create that change and build that wealth at the scale that you actually deserve? Wealth at the scale that you actually deserve? If the answer is no, then it might be time to consider that executive positioning isn't about selling out or changing who you are. It's about expanding your financial wealth with compensation that matches your value. It's about protecting your health and energy by having the authority to work efficiently instead of struggling against systems you can't control. It's about building time well through teams and resources that support your vision. And it's about creating spiritual wealth by aligning your income with your impact.

Speaker 1:

Your introvert strengths are not obstacles to executive leadership. They're advantages that organizations are willing to pay premium prices for. Your desire for authentic impact isn't separate from building career wealth. When you're properly compensated and positioned, you can create more impact with less personal sacrifice. If you are ready to move from invisible impact to invincible influence, while building the career wealth that you deserve, come join me on July 20th at 10 am Eastern Standard Time for my workshop called From Invisible to Invincible Strategies for Black Introvert Women to Get Executive Promotions in Five Months or less. We'll dive deep into the specific strategies, mindset shifts and action steps you need to position yourself for that next level role and the compensation package that comes with it.

Speaker 1:

Until next time, lady leader, keep leading your introvert way. That's a wrap for this episode of Leading Her Way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn, and if you enjoyed today's episode subscribe and please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the word to other ambitious females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us leading her way to the top. Remember your leadership is needed, your leadership is powerful, so lead boldly Until next time.