Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

97: Who Black Introverted Women Should Actually Speak With To Get Their Salary Raise

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 97

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Ever wonder why your repeated salary requests keep getting the "we'll see" treatment? The answer might surprise you. Your boss—despite their best intentions—likely doesn't have the authority to say "yes" to your compensation requests. This revelation is at the heart of the "Who's Got the D?" framework (where D stands for decision-making power), and understanding it could transform your approach to career advancement.

If you want support figuring out what your salary should be and how to get it, join our September 6th workshop "Her Executive Compensation Playbook" where you'll create your personalized strategy for securing the compensation package you deserve.


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Ready to ask for your next 5- or 6-figure salary raise and get it? Register here for our September 6th workshop “Her Executive Compensation Playbook” where we’ll build your personalized strategy for calculating the value you add and negotiating the salary you deserve. 




Speaker 1:

Hi, lady Leader, and welcome to this week's episode of Leading Her Introvert Way podcast. I'm your host, dr Nicole Bryan, and this podcast is for Black, introverted women who are ready to get promoted into senior leadership and executive roles without sacrificing who they are, without burning out and without becoming addicted to work. They are without burning out and without becoming addicted to work. This week I have two announcements. The first announcement I mentioned in a previous podcast episode, which is we are almost at 100 episodes. If you're listening to this real time, this is episode 97, which means we are about three to four weeks out from reaching a major milestone that, frankly, 95% of podcasts never reach, which is episode 100. And I am taking suggestions on how we want to celebrate together. We can do a live episode together, we could do a special guest episode, we could do some type of game. I don't know. I'm honestly open to recommendations, but because you have been riding with me either for one to two episodes or for all hundred episodes, to me this means that we are co-creating right, and if we're co-creating, I definitely want to celebrate in a way that brings all of us a little bit of joy. If you have a thought or a recommendation on how we can celebrate our 100th episode of this podcast. Then send me a direct message on LinkedIn, or send me an email, or you can even send an endorsement or write a review on Apple Podcasts about what you enjoy about this podcast, including how you think we should celebrate the 100th episode that's coming up.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so that's announcement number one. Announcement number two is that we are hosting, on September 6th, 2025. Again, if you're listening in real time, we are hosting a workshop. It's the first time that we're hosting this workshop, and the workshop is called Her Executive Compensation Playbook. It is dedicated to you, my friend, because in addition to getting asked all the time how do I get promoted, what do I need to do to get promoted in my company? The second most frequent question that I get asked is how do I get the salary that I deserve, salary that I deserve? And so, to answer that question and to support you as we move into the end of year conversations around performance, merit increases, bonuses and all of that good stuff, I am hosting this free workshop. It will be on September 6th, which is a Saturday morning, from 11 am Eastern Standard Time, and you will walk away. Those who attend will walk away with their own personal playbook on what their executive compensation package should be, what it should look like and how to make the ask of your boss, of your company, in terms of getting the salary and the executive compensation package that you deserve. So if you haven't already signed up, definitely go into the show notes, click the link and get your name on the list so that you can save your seat and you can show up on September 6th.

Speaker 1:

All right, so now that we have those announcements out the way, let's jump into today's topic. For the past couple of episodes so probably from episode 95, we've been focused on money, and I haven't really called this the money series, but that's essentially what it is. Episodes 95, 96, 97, 98, they're all dedicated to money, and it's an interesting thing because money typically is a taboo topic and I'm trying to demystify it Because, as professional Black women right, professional Black career women we need to get more comfortable and get more confident talking about money, because how else are we going to build wealth for ourselves, for our children, for our families, for our communities, for our communities? We need to get to a place where we are not ashamed of talking about what we earn. We are not told to keep quiet about how much we are spending or how much we are making and what we're able to negotiate or not negotiate for ourselves. The more we talk about it, the more we normalize that we are entitled to be able to earn the type of money that we want to earn for ourselves and our families, right? So that's what the money series is all about, and that is obviously what we're leading up to in the September 6th workshop her executive compensation playbook workshop.

Speaker 1:

So today we're continuing on that conversation and we're going to be talking about something that's costing you right now thousands of dollars and months, if not years, of your time, and you probably don't even realize that it's happening. You have been asking the wrong person for your salary raise, and that's why you keep getting the response of we'll see instead of an absolute yes. That's why you have had the same conversation with your boss three times, four times, five times, and nothing has changed, and that's why you're spinning your wheels instead of getting the results that you want. Now I'm about to share a framework that I call who's got the D? And no, it is not what you're thinking. The D in this circumstance stands for decision-making power, and if you've been frustrated by salary negotiations that go nowhere or salary requests that go nowhere, then this episode is about to change everything for you.

Speaker 1:

Let me tell you about Tanisha. Now Tanisha came to me after about eight months of asking her boss for a promotion. Eight months, okay. Same conversation every few weeks. Her boss would nod, agree, she was doing great work, and then he'd look into it, and then nothing right. He said he'd look into it and then nothing would happen. So Tanisha was doing everything right, or so she thought. She was documenting her achievements, she had her talking points ready, she was being persistent but professional, but she was missing one crucial piece of information. Her boss couldn't actually say yes or agree to her request.

Speaker 1:

See, most of us think about office hierarchy or our jobs hierarchy like this I report to my boss, so my boss makes decisions about my career. But that's not how it actually works, especially when we're talking about salary increases and promotions. Here's the reality. Most managers don't have unilateral authority to give you a raise or promote you. They might be able to give you a title change or some additional responsibilities, but when it comes to moving you to a different salary or a different salary band or changing your compensation significantly, giving you a bonus or stock options or anything like that. They actually can't make that decision themselves. They need approval From who. That's where who's got the D comes in the person or the department or the team. With the D, the decision-making power is usually who owns the budget, and that's often not your direct manager or your direct supervisor supervisor. So how do you figure out who actually has the power to say yes to your salary increase request? Well, you can map out the decision-making hierarchy, and this is perfect for us introverts because it's strategic intelligence gathering, not necessarily office politics. Right Now, this is another thing that I will likely come back and make a whole different episode about in terms of company culture, because company culture also has an influence in terms of who has the deep.

Speaker 1:

Most companies do not give any one individual carte blanche authority and decision-making power over salaries or even over org design or org structure or changes that happen to your team. Inside organizations, there is usually some form of formal and informal checks and balances to make sure that no one manager, no one supervisor can make decisions that ultimately could be bad for the organization or, honestly, ultimately could be good for the organization, because you're not on the field by yourself or that manager is not on the field by themselves, they have an obligation to talk it through, to inform, to get buy-in from other people on most, if not all, of their decisions, including when it comes to salary decisions, including when it comes to hiring someone or bringing someone new onto the team, even including when it comes to letting someone go or firing someone. So it stands to reason that, despite you directly reporting into your manager, they do not have complete decision-making power and complete decision-making authority over how your role is compensated or what they may be able to give you in terms of a salary increase or promotion or bonus or anything like that. Okay, so how do you figure out who actually has the power to say yes to your salary requests? You map out the decision-making hierarchy. First, you need to understand that most salary and promotion decisions involve at least three parties, at least three and in most organizations it's more than three, but at least three and those three are your boss, their boss, who likely controls the budget and human resources, who has to ensure compliance and internal equity right.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's even more complex than that, like in larger organizations, there might be compensation committees, diversity, inclusion teams that weigh in on equity, or executive leadership teams that have to approve anything above a certain dollar amount and the more senior you become. So, if you're going into senior leadership or you're going into the executive level, there are different committees, different review processes, different board approvals that have to occur when it comes to anything related to your compensation and when I say anything, I mean anything, right, not just about salary bonus, but any equity or stock options that might be part of your package, any sign-on bonuses that might happen as you change roles, any type of travel bonuses that you might get, any car allowances that you might get anything that is a part of your executive compensation package. When you become a senior leader or an executive, you are likely having to go through a different approval process than the average employee in your organization. Now here's how you find out who has the D or who is involved in the D within your company, and I know you're going to be like, hmm, how do I find out? Just ask, ask.

Speaker 1:

It is that simple, right? You can ask the question directly. So in your next one-on-one with your boss, you can say something like I'm curious or I'd like to know, I'd like to understand. I am thinking about myself and my career development and my growth inside this company and about advancement opportunities inside this company. And about advancement opportunities, can you help me understand what that process looks like? So like, for example, when I'm ready to make a formal request, who needs to be involved in that decision? Is that something that's fully within your authority to say yes or no, or would you need to invite human resources or your manager or someone else or a committee? Like you can literally ask that question and in most cases, let me just say it is not the fact that you're asking the question.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's all about your approach, the tone that you use. If you're able to ask the question with just a general curiosity, then nine times out of the 10, your manager is going to answer you directly and automatically in that moment. Right, when you approach it suspiciously, or your tone is hesitant or couch it in a conversation or in a context that doesn't really flow, that's when alarm bells will go off for the other person. But if couch it in your conversation or in a context that doesn't really flow, that's when alarm bells will go off for the other person. But if you're in your regular one-on-one and you are talking about. You know, hey, I've been here for whatever 18 months and I'm seeing, you know, different opportunities around the organization. I'm not necessarily ready to move or change my role yet, but I am curious about how things kind of work and who gets to decide and who doesn't get to decide. Can you explain to me how decisions around advancement opportunities and salary or promotions happen here within this team or within this organization? That's a very non-threatening question, frankly, right, and so that is the type of tone, that is the type of context where that makes sense for you to kind of put your curiosity out there and ask the question so you can get a better understanding before you need to make any moves about how the process works within your company. To make any moves about how the process works within your company Now, most managers will tell you the truth because they don't want to waste their time either.

Speaker 1:

They'd rather set the proper expectations than have you keep asking them for something that they can't deliver. The second key question is who owns the budget for salary increases? In our department, the budget owner is almost always a key decision maker. So that's the second question that you can ask your boss, once you know who's got the D. Everything changes Because, instead of building your case for one person, you're building it now for the actual decision makers. So let me give you an example.

Speaker 1:

So Tanisha discovered that salary increases above 10% had to be approved by her boss, her boss's boss and the VP of HR. So instead of just convincing her immediate supervisor that she deserved a raise, she needed to build a case that could make sense to the budget owner and an HR executive. That meant that her approach had to change. That meant that was the answer to why she kept asking her boss for something and nothing was changing, because he did not own the decision. Instead of talking about how hard she worked and how much she'd grown, she needed to focus on business impact and market competitiveness. Instead of emotional appeal, she needed a business case. And here's the beautiful thing for us as introverts, this plays to our strengths. We're good at research, we're good at preparation, we're good at building logical arguments. And so the result? Yes, she got her promotion in six weeks, but it was six weeks after she actually figured out who was on the decision and made her pitch to them. Not because she suddenly became more valuable, but because she finally was talking to the right people with the right information.

Speaker 1:

All right, so I promised you at the top of this episode. I promised you a framework that you could use and that would be helpful for you as you go through this process yourself. Here's your homework Before your next salary conversation, I want you to map out who's got the D in your organization. Ask your supervisor or your boss about the decision making process. Find out who controls the budget and understand what approvals are needed and at what dollar amounts, if any. Then build your case for all of the decision makers, not just your immediate supervisors.

Speaker 1:

And when I say build your case, it's a matter of figuring out what is important to those stakeholders. What do they need to know to feel comfortable saying yes to a request in change of salary? You also need to be able to make your request a reasonable one. It doesn't make sense I don't care who you're asking, what stakeholders you're presenting to If you are asking for an increase that is completely out of market and completely out of the internal equity in your company, you're going to get an automatic no, because no one is going to see that as a possibility, right? So you have two things that you need to be thinking about. One is who owns the deed and two, what information about your request is reasonable, because then you can put those two things together to come up with your business case for the right audience. If the budget owner only cares about return on investment, then lead with the return on investment of promoting you. If HR is involved, address market competitiveness and internal equity. If there's an executive who has to sign off, focus on strategic impact and leadership potential.

Speaker 1:

Stop wasting your time asking people who cannot say yes to your request. Building cases for people who can. That's it Now. Remember this is not about office politics. This is about business and you being strategic in your approach. You're not trying to go around your boss or undermine anyone. In fact, you want them to be a part of the process. You're trying to understand the system in which you work. Trying to understand the system in which you work, the company in which you work, the culture in which you work, so you can work within it effectively.

Speaker 1:

Next week, we're talking about how to ask with confidence. Once you know who you're asking and if you want the complete system, how to research, how to build your case, how to find the decision makers and how to negotiate with confidence, then join me for my workshop on September 6th. It is called Her Executive Compensation Playbook. The link is in the show notes, so tap that link and save your seat. And save your seat. Stop asking people who cannot say yes to your salary. Increase requests and start building cases for the people who can. Until next time, lady leader, keep leading your introvert way.