Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

4 Steps For Black Introvert Women To Finish The Year Strong

• Nicole Bryan • Episode 101

Share episode

We still have plenty of time to achieve our 2025 goals despite what our perfectionist mindset might be telling us. There are over 90 days left in the year—a full quarter to make meaningful progress if we approach our goals strategically rather than giving up on ourselves.

Want help achieving your goals and ending the year strong?  Book your call here to get started inside your Elite Executive Experience.


Speaker 1:

Hey, lady Leader, welcome back to this week's episode of Leading Her Introvert Way. I'm Dr Nicole Bryan and I want to say that I see you. I see you over there thinking that it's too late. I see you looking at that vision board you made in January and those goals that you wrote down with so much excitement, and I hear you whispering to yourself and thinking to yourself I'll just get started again next year. Stop right there. We are not doing that this year. We're not throwing in the towel just because life got life in and, trust me, I get it, because where I am today is not where I thought I would be at the beginning of this year. So I've been where you are. I am where you are too.

Speaker 1:

So let's just be honest about what happened. You started out 2025 with a fire in your belly. You had that fresh calendar. You probably had a new planner and you were ready to take on the world in your personal life, in your professional life, in your romantic life. You set the goals and they were ambitious, because you are an ambitious woman. That's just who you are.

Speaker 1:

But then life started happening. Maybe your kids needed more of your time, or maybe work got crazy with a new project, or maybe your boss left and everything got turned upside down, or perhaps your elderly parents needed more care, or maybe nothing major happened at all, but time just slipped away while you were juggling everything. Here's what I know happens next, and this is where I need you to pay attention. We get to September, october, november and we mentally check out and we tell ourselves I'm just going to start fresh again in 2026. But let me tell you what's really happening. I'm just going to start fresh again in 2026. But let me tell you what's really happening. You're not just postponing your goals, you're literally giving up on yourself. You're throwing away three to four months of your precious time and time. Well, that's the one thing that we can never, ever get back.

Speaker 1:

There's actually a psychology term for this. It's called the what the hell? Effect. Psychologists found that when people feel like they've already messed up or they've already fallen behind, they tend to completely abandon their efforts instead of just adjusting their approach.

Speaker 1:

Now, as Black women, we often deal with perfectionism and this all-or-nothing mindset. We think if we can't do it perfectly or exactly as we had planned, then we shouldn't do it at all. But that's not serving us. Your introvert brain might also be telling you that, since you didn't follow through perfectly, you've somehow failed. But that's not failure. That's called being human. So, instead of giving up on yourself, instead of postponing your goals, instead of Jedi mind-tricking yourself to believe that it's okay to lose two, three, four, five months of precious time that you could be using to get you closer to your goals, we're going to do something different.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm going to give you four different steps to help get you back on track so you can accomplish your goals for 2025. Four steps, okay. So step one and I need you to really hear me on this we still have time. You still have time. There are over 90 days left in 2025. That is a full quarter plus some extra weeks, and that is plenty of time to make progress on something important to you.

Speaker 1:

Think about it 90 days ago, where were you? What have you accomplished since then? Even if it wasn't on your original goal list, I bet you handled challenges. You grew in some way. Maybe you even surprised yourself. If you can do that in 90 days without even trying, imagine what you can do when you're intentional about it.

Speaker 1:

Here's what I want you to do right now I want you to close your eyes. You heard me, unless you're driving. I want you to close your eyes and imagine it's December 31st. You're looking back on these last few months and, instead of feeling disappointed, you feel proud. You feel accomplished. You kept your word to yourself. Now how does that feel? I want you to hold on to that feeling feel. I want you to get realistic and strategic. Now we get strategic. I know at the beginning of the year, you might have had 10 goals on your list and if you were anything like me, they were 10 big, big, big goals and that might have worked for 12 months. But now we're working with about three months. So here's what I need you to keep in mind you need to pick one goal, not all 12 that you started the year out with, not six, not five or four. One, maybe two if they're closely related, but I really want you to focus on one Now.

Speaker 1:

This is not about limiting yourself. It's about being strategic with your energy. As introverts, we already have limited social and mental energy to begin with, and when we spread ourselves too thin, we end up making little progress on everything instead of real progress on something that really matters. So how do you choose right. How do you pick one goal out of all the things that you believe right now are priorities? I want you to ask yourself these questions. First, what goal, if you achieve it, would make you feel most proud of yourself? Second question what goal is mostly within your control? Now, this is really important. Okay, don't pick something that depends on other people's decisions. So, for example, I want to work out three times a week right, that is something in your control. I want my boss to promote me tomorrow is not fully within your control, but I want to have a development conversation with my boss about my career path. That is within your control. Third question I want you to ask yourself is what goal would have the biggest positive impact on your career, on your personal life, on your professional life? Remember, we're talking about big goals, and maybe it's finally starting that side business you've been thinking about. Or maybe it's getting your finances organized. Maybe it's establishing those boundaries at work so you stop working nights and weekends. Maybe it's prioritizing your health so you have more energy for everything else. Maybe it's doing something special for your kids and for your spouse, your partner. But one you need to pick one of these goals that speaks to your soul and your strategic mind at the same time.

Speaker 1:

Step three create your action plan. Okay, so, now that we're getting, now, we get into planning mode. Right, and this is where your introvert strengths shine. We love to think things through, and that's exactly what we need to do here, because it's not enough for us to acknowledge that we still have time left in the year to accomplish our goals, and it's not enough to pick a goal to go after. We've got to map it out. Here's how we do this Working backwards from your goal.

Speaker 1:

So let's stick with the workout example. Your goal is to consistently work out three times a week. What does success look like for you? Maybe it's that for the last six weeks of 2025, you hit the gym three times every single week. Now that you have that as a goal, now we work backwards. Week six we're working out consistently three times a week. Week five we're working out consistently three times a week. Week four we're working out consistently three times a week, right. Week three, we establish the routine. Maybe we go two to three times. Week two, we're getting started, maybe one to two times, figuring out the logistics. And week one, we're signing up for the gym, buying workout clothes and scheduling the times that we're going to go.

Speaker 1:

But then we need to get even more specific. What needs to happen before week one? Well, we have to research gyms in our area. Maybe you got to figure out your budget. You got to decide what days and times work best. You got to arrange for child care, if you need that. You got to buy some workout clothes and some gym shoes and you got to download a fitness app or plan your workouts. See how we're breaking it down.

Speaker 1:

Every big goal is just a series of smaller, manageable steps. Write all of this down. You can use your notes app, you can use a journal, you can use a piece of paper and a pen whatever works for you but write it down. There's psychological power in writing things down. It makes your brain take it even more seriously. Then we go to step four.

Speaker 1:

Now here's the part that most people will skip, and it's why most people don't reach their goals Accountability. As introverts, we might think that we can just hold ourselves accountable, but that's not always enough, right? And how do we know that's not always enough? Well, we're now toward the end of the year and we have not accomplished the goals that we set for ourselves in 2025, right? So we know that having more accountability would be very, very helpful for us. So we need external support systems. Now, this can look different for everyone, right? You could find an accountability partner Now. This could be a friend or a family member or a colleague who checks in with you regularly.

Speaker 1:

But when you are taking on an accountability partner, you want to choose wisely. You need someone who will lovingly call you out when you're making excuses, not someone who will just say that's OK every time you slip up. Another option is that you could join a community or a group. Maybe it's a fitness class or a book club, a professional development group. When other people are expecting you to show up, you're more likely to actually show up.

Speaker 1:

A third option would be for you to hire a professional, like if your goal is career related, maybe you hire a career coach. If it's health related, maybe you hire a personal trainer or a nutritionist. If it's financial, maybe you get a financial advisor or a financial coach. And, yes, this costs money, but think about the cost of not reaching your goals. Think about how much faster, right? You will actually accomplish the things you set out to accomplish when you have an expert who is guiding you every step of the way. Expert who is guiding you every step of the way. A fourth option could be that you create your own reward system. You literally can decide right now how you're going to celebrate when you hit certain milestones. Maybe, after two weeks of consistent workouts, you buy yourself those nice workout leggings you've been wanting. After a month, maybe, you treat yourself to a massage. But here's the key you have to decide these things up front, not after the fact.

Speaker 1:

So, before we wrap up, I want to address something I know some of you are thinking. But, nicole, what if I don't make it? What if I fail again? First of all, stop calling it failing. If you set out to work out three times a week and you end up working out twice a week consistently, that's not failure, that's progress. That's more than what you were doing before. Second, here's a psychology concept I want you to remember Progress over perfection. Studies show that people who make consistent, small progress are happier and more successful long-term than people who make big, sporadic efforts. Your introvert strength is in being thoughtful and consistent, not in being flashy or dramatic. Use that to your advantage.

Speaker 1:

So here's what I'm challenging you to do before our next episode this week, choose your one goal and write it down. Be specific. Over the weekend, create your action plan, break it down into weekly steps and then into daily actions. Next, I want you to set up your accountability system. Tell someone what you're doing, join something, hire someone or create your own reward system. And then and this is where the rubber meets the road then I want you to start taking action. Just start, get out of your head and just start. Remember, we're not trying to make up for the whole year in three months. We're trying to end 2025 strong and set ourselves up for an amazing 2026.

Speaker 1:

Listen, lady leader, you are not behind. You are not a failure. You are not out of time. You are a powerful, intelligent, capable woman who deserves to see her goals come to life. Your dreams do not have an expiration date, but your time is definitely precious, so don't waste these next three months telling yourself you'll start over again next year. Start over today. The woman you want to become is waiting for you to take that first step. She is not waiting for January 1st. She's waiting for you right now. I believe in you and I am cheering you on.

Speaker 1:

Remember, the future of leadership is introverted and it is female, and that future includes you stepping fully into your power. Until next time, lady leader, keep leading your introvert way. That's a wrap for this episode of leading her way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn and if you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe. And please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the word to other ambitious females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us leading her way to the top, remember your leadership is needed. Your leadership is powerful, so lead boldly. Until next time.