Leading Her Introvert Way: Conversations about executive leadership, career growth, business and mindset for mid-life Black women.

105: How A Quiet & Humble Black Woman Secured Career Sponsors & Landed Her Dream Role

• Nicole Bryan

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What if the fastest way up isn’t more grind, but stronger sponsors? Dr. Nicole sits down with “Dee,” a senior leader who left big law, taught at a university, built Title IX expertise, and then designed a role that finally aligned with her strengths and her season of life. Her story is a blueprint for anyone who’s tired of waiting to be noticed and ready to shape their next move.

And if that's you too and you're tired of being the only one fighting for your career success, join the Secure Your Career Sponsor challenge.  We start November 1.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi Lady Leader, today's episode is sponsored by my Secure Your Career Sponsor Challenge. It is four weeks dedicated to helping you identify, approach, and secure your next career sponsors that will help you get your promotion, your pay raise, and open doors for you that no one else can open. If you're interested in joining the challenge that is coming up on November 1st, then go to the show notes and click the link, and I'll see you there. Hi, lady leaders, and welcome back to another episode of Leading Her Introvert Way. I am your host, Dr. Nicole Bryan, and today I have something special for you. You know how we're always talking about stepping into your power, using your strengths, and becoming the leader that you're meant to be. Well, today you're going to hear from someone who actually did it. And let me tell you, her story is going to light a fire under you. I'm sitting down with someone I'm calling Dee. Now, that is not her real name because she's keeping her identity private. But her story, that's a hundred percent real. Dee is a black woman and a senior leader who has climbed her way up in her industry. And here's the thing: she didn't get there by waiting around for someone to hand her opportunities. In most instances, she created them for herself. Now, I've had the privilege of advising Dee through a couple of major career moves and watching her go from feeling stuck and frustrated to absolutely owning her career trajectory. And that's the kind of transformation that I want for you. So here's what we're going to do today. First, we're going to talk about how to stop waiting for that promotion or that next role or that next big opportunity to just materialize, to just appear. Because if you're sitting around and you're waiting for someone to notice you and hand you what you deserve, you might be waiting a very, very long time. Dee's going to show you how to take the reins and create your own opportunities instead. And second, and this one is pretty big for me right now, we're diving deep into the power of having a career sponsor. Not a mentor, but a sponsor. Someone who's advocating for you in rooms you're not in, someone who's opening doors and pulling you through. Because here's the truth: you're mad talented and you work hard. You can do everything right. But having the right sponsor in your corner can be the difference between saying stuff and skyrocketing to where you want to be. Now, if you're listening to this and you're thinking, Nicole, I don't even know how to find a sponsor, or I'm too introverted to create my own opportunities. That's exactly why you need to hear this conversation today. Because Dee and I, we're going to break it all down for you. So before we jump in, I just want to say Dee is keeping some of her details vague to protect her privacy, but don't let that fool you. The story is powerful, it's real, and it's going to give you a blueprint for your own career advancement. All right. Let's get into it. Welcome to the show, Dee. Okay. So let's just let me just be clear. Dee has no idea what questions I'm about to ask her. So there may be times where she needs to take a pause and think about it, but that's all right. We're we're all family here. We are really excited that you're here. Thank you for agreeing to be with us this today.

SPEAKER_02:

You're so welcome.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. So the first question that I have is if you could just tell us a little bit about yourself, like who make what type of work you do, where you are in your career right now, um, where you've been in your career, anything you want to share us that gives us a little bit more context about you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, sure. Well, I'm an attorney. Um I'm an attorney who worked for a law firm in the Northeast for quite some time, maybe about 12, 13 years, and then decided I needed to spend some time taking care of my daughter. And I left that job. She was very young and needed her mom at home. And at this law firm, I wasn't seeing her. I was getting home late at night. She was asleep, leaving early in the morning, she was asleep. So it was a big decision. And I did not think it through or have a plan. I just left. So left, took care of my daughter, and then I was like, okay, I need an income. And started looking again for work. Uh, decided I did not want to go back to big law, and really felt an urge to teach. Teaching, coaching, that kind of thing has always been something that I really enjoy doing. Interestingly, I thought that I wanted to teach, and within two weeks, I got a teaching role at a university close by. Yeah. So the power of manifestation. Yes, that is total manifestation. I I was like, I want to do this. And um a friend of my daughter's mom worked at this institution, and I told them, and they were like, Oh, we might look for someone, we might need someone, come interview. And within two weeks, I had the job. And I worked in that role and then moved my way. So so here I am, right? Coming from big law, and now I'm in higher ed. Very different. An opportunity opened up there to work in the Title IX, like institutional um folks that dealt with discrimination in Title IX and those kinds of things. And I applied and I got that job. And so I left teaching and moved into that. And from there, moved into another institution doing similar role. So completely pivoted, left law, and went into higher ed and have been in higher ed for quite some time now. Yeah. Um, I'm at the dire senior director level um at my current employer.

SPEAKER_00:

Nice. I love that story. Every time I hear a story where there are twists and turns to a career, some planned, some unexpected. I love it because I just I always think back to my mom, probably your mom, you know, the generation before us, where the expectation was that you stayed at the same career, same job, same role for 30, 40, 50 years. Oh, yeah. Feel like our generation and today's generations are just completely grabbing our careers and work life by the horns, right? We're we're creating it as we go. Even those of us who may have gone to school and studied for certain careers, we are not afraid to not just switch jobs or switch organizations, but switch careers, which I just feel like, particularly for those of us who are women, black women, no less. I mean, it's we're it hasn't even been a hundred years, not even close to a hundred years that we've been in the paid workforce. So I always get excited that we have so many more children. So I love that story, D. That's that's perfect.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks for pointing that out because I I'll say this really quickly. My mother was always like, Oh, don't leave the job, don't leave the job, hold on to the job. And I'm like, uh, but I don't want to be here anymore.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Or if it is that you're leaving, it's okay, don't leave before you have another job. And you did you did you broke both of those rules? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. So how would you describe yourself as a leader? You mentioned that you're a senior director. How would you describe yourself, or maybe even better, how would other people, like some of your people that you've worked with or you've been who've been your direct reports, how would they describe you as a leader?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I I think the way I lead is the way I want to be led. I don't want people breathing down my neck, so I don't breathe down people's neck. I've been fortunate to have folks on my team who are skilled and know what they're doing, and I don't have to breathe, breathe down their neck. Um, I'm really collaborative. I don't assume when I walk into a meeting that I have all the answers ever. Usually I'm the last person to offer my thoughts or opinion. I believe that there is power in teams and that you need to let the team do what you hired them to do. So I give folks space to show up and and to lead. Um and really think that that's an important aspect of the way that I show up in in the way I've been showing up for a long time. So I think the folks I lead might think I'm maybe more hands-off than they even want me to be, perhaps. But I trust the ones that I can trust. Yeah. If I'm hands-on, it's because something's going on.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And I need to be like all in your space, right?

SPEAKER_00:

All right. So today we're going to be talking about the latest transition that you've had. So what I'm going to ask you to do is um take us back to and paint a before picture. You know, maybe talk about what you were feeling, what you were experiencing, even what made you realize that you wanted to do something different.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe if it if it's okay, I'll go to the role or the institution before this one, my first there at institution. Okay. I started there in in a role. Um, I was in office of one, I was doing way too much. I was I was not prepared for the level of exhaustion uh that I saw which was going to bring me to why I ended up leaving um in a moment. But it was a lot. And the title that I had, I remember being very annoyed with the title very early on in my time there because I was like, this is not what I do. And very early on, I started talking to folks in HR and to my boss about what ended up being a title change. I knew that that title is what people would see and then get thoughts about my competence and what I do at this space. And it just wasn't doing what it needed to do. And so I, while doing all the work I needed to do for this place, I started figuring out how can I get this title changed. And I was able to get it changed. And then some things happened that weren't within my control. I think it was before the pandemic, George Floyd was murdered, Ahmad Arbory, all of these things were happening. And if folks are paying attention to higher ed, and maybe, maybe all institutions, all corporations, DEI became the thing. Everybody wanted a chief diversity officer or someone doing diversity work. And I had a boss who was amazing and who listened to what I said when I said it. And you looked like so surprised. You did your faces like it was until this point, and it's interesting, that was the beginning of me finding these kinds of bosses. This was the first boss, and then my current boss is the second, where I would say a thing like, my title's not right, and they'd be like, Okay. Or you need me to be a special, you know, appointee to you, talking to you about all things diversity. And they're like, Okay. And so, and I thought myself to be afraid and shy and timid and not able to speak up for myself. But um, I I started to target someone that I called my inner Khadijah. That's the name I gave her. Inner what? Repeat that. I mean, it was Khadijah. It just felt like the right name. Like Khadijah speaks up for herself. She's not lost around. She's not going to be like at the end of the day, I should have said this or I should have said that. She tells you what she wants. And so I started channeling my Khadijah and had a new title and had a sort of like adjacent role doing diversity work because of this amazing boss and because of the timing. And those things allowed me, positioned me actually to leave and go to another institution when I was ready to be out because that place was killing me.

SPEAKER_00:

So I was like, it's time to go. Okay. Um, it sounds like you found a way to advocate for yourself. You knew that you would at least be listened to because of who you're that wasn't necessarily a guarantee that the things that you were asking for, which a title change is usually not only up to your boss. That's HR is involved in that. There may be other things to consider, but you channeled your alter ego, let's call it. Yeah. To muster up the courage to create your business case for why you thought that you should have this change.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And it wasn't simple. There were folks involved in the process, key folks who didn't want the title change to happen. I can imagine.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah. Particularly at a higher education institution. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. And I I don't know why I didn't let that scare me. I was like, oh no, but but I'm the one doing this work. And I'm telling you that that's not what this is. And so I was, yeah, I was a bit of a boss.

SPEAKER_00:

I love it. I love it. Okay. And so you left that role because the role was taking over your life again. It sounds like similar to why you left Big Walk, right? That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I always tell my uh clients, I always say, it's okay to leave something, also have in your mind what you're going towards. So you did. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Unlike the first, unlike when I left the law firm and had no plan except to be with my daughter. Um this time I was laying the foundation and didn't even really know it. The role that I was in at this first institution had me in rooms with people from higher education throughout the Northeast. And so I was in these spaces with these folks quite a bit and began developing relationships with them, followed a few of them on LinkedIn, and knew that I wanted to leave because I didn't want to be in the same type of position that was sort of exhausting. That's a whole separate conversation, but it was a lot. And started reaching out to the folks on LinkedIn who I had connected with. And one of the people who was now my boss, I saw that they were hiring. And Khadijah, because it wasn't D, it was Khadijah. Khadija was like, girl, reach out to this person. And so I put my big pants on and sent a message and said, very interested in this new role. I would love to talk more. And they were like, Yeah, basically they gave me the steps to follow. Reach out to this person and tell them that I told you to reach out. And my boss knew someone at this new institution, my current boss, and knew that my current boss was okay with me connecting with them to move into this new. I want you, I think I feel like I need to pause to recognize that some of this was me, Khadijah, your support, and and a lot of this was the planets in alignment and God's grace. I just, I just feel like I because for that boss to be like, no, I'm trying to hold on to you and I don't want to release you, to be like, no, go talk to this person, they'll help you. I I know that that's not common, and I'm so grateful for that. Yeah. And so got a couple of interviews and literally left one position at the end of June and started the other one on July 1st.

SPEAKER_00:

Excellent. Okay, so now you're in the second higher educational institution, a role that you picked out, right? You said, I see this role, I'm interested in this role, I want this role, and Cabdesia is gonna get me this role. And you got it. Yes. Okay, so how long were you in that role?

SPEAKER_01:

So interestingly, I wanted that role, and I knew that there was an opportunity to move up fairly quickly to be director because I knew that the person who was in the director role was going to be leaving. So before I even moved into the role, I was like, I'm gonna go get this role, and then within this amendment, this many months, I'm gonna be in this director role. That's what I told myself. And it happened.

SPEAKER_00:

I I moved into the role in July 1, and I was in the director position by February of the following year. Was that a promotion? Like when you you got a higher level title, it sounds like more money. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. A promotion, more pay, more responsibility, more people to um report to me, all of that. Okay, okay. And can I can I say there, um I remember what there was a period where I was in an interim status. And I remember I was like, Why am I interim? I remember that. I remember that very well. Yeah. Do you remember? And so there was that conversation where I was like, boss, what do you need me to do? What what is it? What is it that you need me to do? Like, why are we here? What do you need? Correct. Again, Khadijah, because you know. Um, and she was like, Oh, okay. It's almost like she thought the fact that I was able to ask that question meant that I was ready because very shortly after that conversation, I was director.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And, you know, in all fairness, you were new to the organization, right? Organization. And it's very common for someone who maybe doesn't have uh the work history at that specific organization to be asked to step into an interim role, right? The purpose of the interim role is supposed to benefit both the employee as well as the employer, just to give a period of time for us to even see if we want to do this dance long term. That's the purpose of it. But it sounds like you already knew and you called the moment, and your boss was like, if Khadisha got the kahunas to ask me this question, and given what I've already seen, then yes, why delay it?

SPEAKER_02:

Essentially.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, okay. So I I have to ask, were you not scared or uncomfortable?

SPEAKER_01:

I was scared and I was uncomfortable. Also, just to be transparent, the eight months when I was that I was there in in the role right below director, I had a moment where I was like, Lord, I was like, did I even make the right decision? This is a lot. It felt on par and maybe even more challenging than what I had just left. And remember, there was no break. I had no break. And so I did have moments of saying to myself, do you even really want this for your life? You're saying that you want this, are you sure? In that moment, I answered, yes, I'm sure. And we have a plan. Let's let's continue with the plan. And the plan is to move into this director role. And so despite being nervous and afraid, I felt like I already have a no. Like if I don't ask, I have a no. She can either say yes, she can she can say, I need you to show me this, and then I'll be clear on what's needed. I felt like I couldn't lose asking the question. So yeah, scared, but felt the fear and did it anyway.

SPEAKER_00:

That's what we're talking about. Okay. All right. And that was not the last transition that you've made. Okay, please share with us the latest transition.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm laughing because when this first transition happened, she she asked me, I think it was on the same call where I was like, What do you want? And she was like, Do you want this role? Like, do you like kind of that look like looking deep into my eyes? Do you want this? And I was like, Yes, yes, I want this. In the moment it was, it was a short fire. I was 100% truthful in the moment. And you know, uh three years after, I was like, God, help me, get me out. And um, should I tell you how this next transition happened? Yeah. Uh I had a moment of being very transparent with her. It was actually on a phone call on the way to work. And I was feeling burnt out beyond words, to the point where I was thinking, and and she asked if I wanted to take time off. Like if I want like she was a leave of absence or something. I would take a leave of absence. She knew because I had been speaking to her, trying not to be the complainer, but also didn't want to pretend that this job wasn't what it was. And I I knew that folks in these roles kept doing the thing nights and weekends, and so people kept expecting the thing. And I felt like I'm gonna do the thing nights and weekends, but you're gonna know that this is really not sustainable, and I'm not there's gonna be a point where I'm just not gonna be able to do this. And I was able to share that with her on occasion. Well, this one particular day I got very transparent, and I think I was having a moment, and I I said to her, I don't think I can stay in this role. I love the team, I love the people, and I can do it and do it well, but it's very clear to me that it's not in alignment with what I want or need. And I joked, because I know she was probably thinking, I asked you three years ago if you wanted this. And I so I said, I said, I know you asked me if I wanted this, and I did at the time. And now it is actually not over my health. Like that's how bad it is. And I remember I hung up the phone and thought, oh my goodness. Did I call you right after that? I did, yes. I was like, girl, I was just way too transparent. I said too much. But that's where she showed up for me. I I showed up and said what I needed to say, and she supported me, and I'm now in a new role. I've been in a new role for the last three months or so.

SPEAKER_00:

So let's go back a second. You use words that I've heard many of uh many other clients use. I've heard people in my audience use I view too, meaning you what you said was D, that you liked the people, you liked your team, right? You right, um, you even like some aspects of the work. So for you, what was not in alignment? Goodness, so much.

SPEAKER_01:

Let me let me let me pause and ponder. The work that I do or did is uh aligned with investigations work. I've done that work for a lot of my career. Like I started doing that work in the 90s, it's been a while. And have gotten good at it, but it's never been something that I've loved. It's it feels adversarial. And when you're in spaces dealing with things like discrimination, harassment, sexual misconduct, that's heavy. And I am an empath. So another reason why it's not in a lot, I some people are great at taking off work and leaving it at work and going home. I feel all the things deeply in my heart and in my spirit. I carry it home with me. I sleep, I dream about it, and then I take it back to work the next day. It's a lot. And I've been doing that since the 90s. And it's taken a toll to the point where now I just don't have the capacity to do it. And how that shows up in my body is high blood pressure and weight gain and sleepless nights, like literally affecting my health. So the type of work was not in alignment. I really would like my weekends, hello. I'd like my evenings, I'd like to, you know, have my time. And I'm not at the stage of my career where I'm like, let's hustle, let's work all night, let's work all weekend. I'm ready to start relaxing a bit and traveling a bit and having a little weekend somewhere and not sitting in front of documents and reports all weekend long. So that also is in alignment with where I am now.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

If I was a scrappy 20-year-old, okay, but I'm not.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you for sharing um and explaining because I think that's important, meaning that there are seasons to the beauty of a career is that it doesn't stay stagnant. A job, jobs usually stay stagnant, but a beauty of a career is that it is supposed to change, it is supposed to evolve. I think is really important for all of us to acknowledge is what we want and need at one stage of our career is is and can be very different at a different stage of our career. And again, what our foremothers dreamt for us by having careers versus having jobs, we would use them to create options that they wouldn't be our life, but they would help us have the life that we want. So, what I hear you saying is exactly that. Like right now, you're at a stage where you're not trying to hustle. There was a time in your career where you hustled and you were fine with hustling. But right now, what you want for yourself looks and feels different, and that you've took you've taken the steps to find the opportunity that will better align with where you are right now in your life. 100%. Yes. That's important. I think that's a really important message. Okay. So let's get kind of tactical because I I was there right as you were. Yes, you are blow by blow. Yes, I was there. But I would love for you to share with um our fellow sisters some of the tactics that you took. Because I think what I love about what you did is that you literally created an opportunity for yourself. It was not a couple of times, by the way, but in this latest transition, which is I think is even more interesting because it's internal. You didn't move from one organization to another, right? And so walk us through some of the things. Like, how do you even think of the possibility? Um, you know, did you see a hole? Did did your boss maybe point out that something else was needed? Like, how did even come to how did the idea even formulate that? Hey, this could be a possible shift for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I I will say that it a part of that answer goes back even before this role. There was a time when I thought about my dream job and how much it would pay me. And thought to myself, girl, I never gonna pay you that much for that job. Um, but it was it was a little seed in my brain. Been in there for years, I don't know, 15 years now. I've been thinking like this would be so amazing. I think I even put it on a vision board one time. In this role, the role right before this one, as I said, it was sort of investigative-based, heavy. Uh our team was looking for someone who could do uh work that was more aligned with what I enjoyed. And I was already doing some of that work, but we needed someone who would be focused on that work, and they would, they wouldn't be a director level, they would be like an associate director. And I remember at that point discussing with my boss, yeah, but I'm gonna keep this because I like this. And I made it very clear to my boss, really, that's what I love. Like I was never, I never lied about that. I was always clear about where my heart was and made sure that it was clear, like, I'm good at this other stuff, but this is what I really love. So those seeds were planted already. We attempted to find this person to fill the role, and we had two failed searches. We couldn't fill the search. Got close, but never quite found the right person. And when I had my transparent moment and left it, and I was, you know, um ruminating about it. Oh, what have I done? What have I done? My boss was thinking, how can I keep her? Um and was thinking, what are her strengths? I had made those strengths clear. I had said, I said things to her, like, and I think I said this before, I'm good at this and I can do this. But it's not in alignment. This is this is what I love, this is what I love. Like I've said those things to her. And so she was paying attention to that. And later on, maybe a couple of months after, she was like, send me a job description of what you think this might look like, this this role that you would want to do. If we could make this thing happen, what do you think it would look like? And so I got um to work creating the ideal jobs, job description that actually was in alignment with my heart and could meet the needs of the institution. Um, it would not only do what this person would do if we had found them, um, but do some additional things that I knew, because I had been at the institution now for several years, that I knew was needed, right? So I knew they needed X, Y, Z. So I'm like, I'm I put all the things in the soup. I was like, this new role can do all these things. And all those things were things that got me excited, made me happy. And um shared that with her, and it went through a couple of revisions. Um, and she was working behind the scenes with folks. Uh, they really did need someone to be doing this particular type of work that we couldn't find. And I think I don't know if any of this would have happened. Again, timing, right? Like I mentioned, the timing issue back in the day with the diversity thing. The timing here and now at the institution was that they needed someone. They couldn't wait anymore to not fill that role. And so the solution that I helped my boss present was the perfect way to get them what they need, them the university, the institution, what they needed.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. I remember consulting, I remember reviewing the job description together. One of the things that we often talk about on this podcast is creating the opportunities that you want. And say that when I listen or we re count to your story, I hear the seeds being planted, meaning that before this was even a true opportunity that materialized, you were being honest with yourself in terms of what you wanted. And even though scary, you were being honest with your boss about what you liked, what you didn't like, where your true passions lie. And for me, if those types of foundations weren't already there, it would have been that much more difficult and likely not happening to be able to create and slide into this next role, this next opportunity. I'm saying that because I want everyone to think about every move doesn't have to be big. Creating a change. You can start with the little things. And the little things can be, I'm just gonna be honest about what I like about this my current role and what I don't like, right? I can be honest about what my dream job is, even if I can't even foresee it happening here, right? Those little things are the brick by bricks that ultimately build the pedestal that you can stand on.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Can't even do the little things, then it's so much harder to do the bigger things. That makes that's a hundred percent right. Yeah. That's so funny. The other thing I'm gonna point out is and listen, we didn't plan all these lessons, but I'm seeing it, and so I'm I'm calling it out, which is one of the things that we always talk about is performance doesn't get you promoted. And it doesn't. Work hard, you can work all the nights, all the weekends, you can work every day, sunup to sundown, that's actually not gonna get you promoted, right? What will get you promoted, well, well, I I will say two things. If you don't have a good work ethic, that will get you promoted. So, right, so there's a it's not gonna get you promoted, but it can actually stop you from being. So that's the one thing I will say. And then the other thing I will say is what will get you promoted is when you are able to demonstrate what you can do for the organization. And that's what I feel, D, that you did here. You saw the opportunity. The opportunity was already there. Honestly, you guys were recruiting for it. But there wasn't an immediate piece. This is the person for this role. Probably because it was more junior when it was originally envisioned, because it had some aspects to it that complemented your current role but wasn't the same thing. I get it. But that created the space for you to be like your performance for the past three years of doing that you didn't necessarily love, doing that well, and being able to also articulate what you do like, what you don't necessarily like, like all of that created the opportunity for you to be like, oh, and I can do this. I see the hole here, I that hole, not just with what I've done before, but also to that opportunity.

SPEAKER_01:

That's true. I think relationships has a is another key component that she looked, she didn't want to lose me, the person, because of what I brought to. I'm supportive of her. I want her to win, I want her to look good all the time, and I show it. Um, and I don't know if everyone else around her does that. I don't know. But I think that there were characteristics that I had that she valued because she could have easily been like, I hear you, be well. I will give you a great letter of recommendation and send you on your way. But there was some need that I filled for her to keep me around.

SPEAKER_00:

Correct. Yeah, yeah. That's the reciprocal piece. That's the building of a relationship with someone, and she happens to be your boss, but she also clearly was a sponsor of D. Yeah. But that's the reciprocal relationship. There are things that you can bring to the table and do in support of her, and vice versa. There's things that she can and was willing to do in support of you, right? And again, it's a combination of what you bring to the organization, but also who you are. And I think when you're a leader, it's very difficult to separate the two. Yeah. Okay. All right. Is there anything else that you want us to know about that transition? About how do you like the role? You've been it for three months.

SPEAKER_01:

And I don't think, I don't think in five years I'm gonna be like, I hate it now. I it because it is so good. It is so uh there are days when, and and what's an interesting um thing to share, and I think a key um indicator that this is good. I moved into the role and it was so busy, so busy for the first, really, only the last maybe three weeks have I been able to breathe a little bit and be like, okay, who am I in this new role? What am what what are my strategic priorities? What do I want? Because it was so busy. But while it was busy, my stress level was it was so different than in that other role. So working a lot and being busy isn't what was creating the stress for me. It was that job. And when I would be tired and be like, but it's so great. I get to do this thing all the time, all day. It's so great. I was like, yeah, this is, and I don't know in all my years of working, yeah. I don't, I don't think I've ever had this experience from a job that I didn't just create for myself, like my a side gig. Like I go and I get a paycheck, and I'm like, yes, I will come tomorrow because this is great.

SPEAKER_00:

Too funny. So basically, a job or a role that you really thoroughly enjoy. Yeah, it sounds like, right? And you earn a good salary to do that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, that's great. I I think your this story, I think your experiences have been very powerful. I think there's ones that you're likely going to remember forever because you worked for each one of these last two and three moves that you made. All the work that you did made a difference, and now you're in a place where what you're doing and how you're doing it aligns with the the life stage that you're at right now. Okay. Um, one of the things that I've talked about, and I'm talking about it a lot right now in my social media channels, is sponsorship in particular, and your boss as a sponsor versus not having your boss as a sponsor. So, my question to you is it sounds like in both your first educational institution that you worked at, as well as this current as educational institution, in both instances, you were lucky enough to have two different bosses who also served as your sponsors. Right. Did you say that that's right? That is right. Yes. Yes. I'm sure you've had previously bosses who were just bosses. They were not sponsors for you. Yeah, like 100%. Did you approach anything that you anything that you did to approach those relationships differently, or was it really more a matter of who you selected to be your boss? Because I think in both instances you you knew them before.

SPEAKER_01:

I think definitely in the latter, it's a part of it is who I selected, but I've never thought about this until you've asked me this question. And when I think back with the first boss, I engaged him. I've been in positions where my boss is this like person way up on high that I hardly talk to, and I just try not to upset. And here I think I saw myself as his equal and someone who had insight that could help him. And so the way I moved with him was like that. I remember reaching out to him and and and um just speaking to him like a colleague and not a boss. I guess it goes to that relationship building. I think that he probably gained respect for me in the way that I dealt with him. And so when it was time for me to start asking for it felt it didn't feel like a stretch to ask for the things, and it felt like they were in service of him. When I would do these things, like ask for the my role change and ask for this sort of appointment, I didn't even really ask. I was like, I think this would be great. And it it just felt like it was in service of him. And then the sponsorship just kind of happened naturally when I was ready to pivot. And I think similarly, here there was that relationship building that was always happening. I'm communicating regularly with my current boss and being like, oh, this is because early on she told me that she wanted a thought partner. And I was like, okay, I need to be tracking for stuff that maybe she's not tracking for. I need to be that person for her, right? And and I was fine with it. And so I think doing that created fertile ground for me to then say, Oh, I wish I had this or I want this, and then for her to show up in rooms supporting me when I wasn't in the room. Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

When you think about your first boss slash sponsor, what are the tangible things that he did for you? I heard one of them, which was when you were ready to leave, he advocated for you to get the next role outside of the organization. Right. That was one. What are some he oh, he advocated for your title change, which is what you wanted. What are some of the other things that he did for you as a sponsor?

SPEAKER_01:

The first one that you mentioned advocating for me to get this new role, included writing me an amazing reference letter, connecting me with someone that he knew at the new institution, and being like, she's amazing. You need this person in your life. Those two things were huge because I've I've never gotten a great job without word of mouth. Um those were huge. The title change, yes, and saying I do need someone to report to me on things related to diversity and equity and inclusion. Please come and do this for me, opening that door for me and allowing me to do that. All of those things set me up to be able to move um into the, you know, move out of that institution into another one. And I'm like, oh, that's that's kind of good enough. Like those, those were the things that I think really positioned me to move into the new role at the new position at the new institution.

SPEAKER_00:

Excellent. And then at the new institution, your boss served as your sponsor. And there were, I'm sure the list is longer there in terms of right, but helping you get your third role at that institution was something that your boss slash sponsor did. Um I know that you also um was able to get a couple of important certifications, yes, via your current boss slash sponsor, right? And you otherwise wouldn't have been able to have access to.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, anything else you want to point out in terms of there's so much that happened behind the scenes that she hasn't given me the blow by blow about, except maybe to say, still working on this, you know, we've got to tweak this because this is what will resonate. So I think that there was some serious showing up for me. Yes, yes, like you need this, and she's the right person to do this. And with those certifications, like she was like, You should go take this, you should go do this. I'm like, Well, okay, off I go. Like, just opening the doors, opening the doors, opening the doors, even when I wasn't tracking for things myself. Yeah. So things, things Nicole, I probably don't even know that she did. Yeah. Um, she did for me to be here. And as we continue to talk, it's been about three months. I keep learning like a little bit more of all that went down, you know, and just continue to be so grateful um for the opportunity to get to get to be in alignment at this stage in my life. Yeah, it's most okay.

SPEAKER_00:

All right. So what's next for you? What are your plans for your your career at this point?

SPEAKER_01:

Digging into this role, which has been wonderful, it requires lots of learning tour type things, uh, listening sessions, if you will. And I'm loving that because that's very much what I like doing. For now, I'm just excited to like knock their socks off. You know, I I want um her to know that it was a great decision. And I already know it. Like, I there's sometimes where you feel you have these imposter syndrome moments where, oh, can I, but I'm like, oh no, we're about to do this. Like, I'm I'm so excited. Let's go. Yeah. So I just need to pace myself because Rome wasn't built in a day. I know it's going to take time to develop the relationships, learn what I don't know, learn where I need to grow here. Um, and that's what that's what I'm doing. It feels good to be able to do it and do it in a space that I enjoy, you know, in work that I enjoy.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Perfect. Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what? I just realized I've been asked. I mean, we've talked about it a little bit, but I asked you how your uh boss has helped you. I asked you how you helped yourself. How you helped me? Yeah. So excited to have your story and for you to tell it. All right, but yeah. What let me let you get the question out because I have an answer. How how what stages or what role? How did I support your journey? Yes. Changes that you went through.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know. Did I ever tell you about Khadijah? Did I ever tell you about her?

SPEAKER_02:

You didn't.

SPEAKER_01:

I did, right? Because I feel like you helped me create Khadijah. And like there were conversations we had. So you've been involved in this, you know, from back at that first institution. Um and and when I was moving to this institution and positioning myself, and when salary came up, hello, because I I'll just name that even though I worked for so many years as an attorney and have been in spaces with, you know, people who you think this information would have been imparted. I did not know how to advocate for myself around salary. I did not know how to do it. And people were not forthcoming with information. And early on, I wasn't getting what I was worth. Um, and so I I kind of wish like I took like I wrote all this down because you helped in so many ways. Like you helped me think strategically and position myself in a way to advocate for what I deserved. And it's amazing to me that you you just once you do that, the people are like, oh, oh, okay. Like before you do it, you're like, I'm never gonna get that amount.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

But then you if you paint the picture properly, which you helped me do, yeah, like let me tell you why. Because I'm I do this and I'm this and I'm this and I bring this and I bring that.

SPEAKER_00:

The business case.

SPEAKER_01:

You build that business case. And I I don't think I was if you and I hadn't talked, I don't know if I would have been going in there with no business case. I'd have been like, please, can you pay me? But I went in with Khadijah, like let me tell you what you're gonna pay me and why. Um oh, so grateful for you. So there were there was that, and then and then having someone objective outside of this, looking at it and seeing my worth when at mom in moments I didn't quite see it, naming the things and reminding me, like, this is what you bring to the table. Like, oh my god, yes, that's what I bring to the table. So yeah, I don't believe that any of those transitions would have happened as favorably as they did if it if I did not have your support. Um and like your generous support. Like you generously, generously gave your time. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, there's nobody I know that's more deserving of it. And I honestly, I think all the things that you experienced, they were challenges in the moment, but I truly believe that our thought partnership was what got us through, right? Um, and listen, once you say I am happy in this role and I am feeling myself, I'm like, job done. We're we're just uh put a bow on it, let you sit and bask in the what's war for the past decade probably. Um, and that's it's a win. So let's we can we can end it on that note. All right. Anything else you want to say before we wrap up and say that's it.

SPEAKER_01:

I think that was a good place to end it. I'm grateful for you, is where I want to end it.

SPEAKER_00:

Same, same. All right, thank you so much, Dee, for joining us today, sharing your story. Like I said at the beginning, you didn't know what I was gonna ask, but I feel like your story had so many validation of the lessons that we've been talking about on this podcast for the last several months. Um, it highlights the benefit of working hard, but not giving yourself over to your role or your career, um, advocating for yourself, the benefits of having sponsors, the benefits of being open and communicative with your bosses. There were so many key lessons. Um, and just to be able to see and witness your transitions and your growth professionally and personally has been a blessing for me, and I appreciate it. And thanks again for being here and sharing your story with us. Till next time, lady leaders. Keep leading your introvert way. Thanks for tuning in. If you have thoughts, questions, or ideas for future topics, connect and send me a message on LinkedIn. And if you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe and please take a minute to write a quick review on Apple Podcasts. Your review will help spread the words to other emphasis females so they know they're not alone and that this podcast is a community of support for all of us leading our way to the top. Remember, your leadership is needed. Your leadership is powerful. So lead boldly. Until next time.